Mystery Date
by Mesita
Summary: Aracd's your host with Guest Star Roose Sawamura! Which date will he choose?
1. Default Chapter

-Disclaimer: I do not own Megami Kouhosei or any of the characters mentioned here!  
  
-Rates: PG-13, mild language, hentai hints, bad humor  
  
-Notes: Yipee! I knew I was messed up enough to write this. This isn't my first MK fic, of course, but my first MK fic on FF.net. XD I figured I'd separate this into part 1, commercials, and part 2. ^.^ That way I can figure out what questions to ask! I might have overdone Rio's stupidity, and the ending should either be a surprise or an I-told-ya-so. It depends on the person. XD  
  
Mystery Date!  
  
[Fly to the Star of Your Dreams music launches out all about the stage. Standing on a podium in a tuxedo is none other than Aracd. There are cameras everywhere and a giant heart chair to the right of the stage. In cubicles that only the studio audience can see inside, are three smaller heart chairs. In these chairs are three people. The music ends and the audience cheers.]  
  
Aracd: Konbanwa, minna-san! I am your host, Aracd, and welcome to Mystery Date!  
  
Audience: ::cheers::  
  
Aracd: May I introduce our three candidates for love!!  
  
[The audience applauds as Candidate #1's box lights up.]  
  
Aracd: Please state your name. And remember your mystery date cannot hear what you say until he comes out on stage.  
  
Rio: Watashi wa Rioroute Vilgyna desu. Demo… where's the buffet? Phil told me there was food here!  
  
Aracd: Um… this is a dating service!  
  
Rio: You mean it's not a cooking show?  
  
Aracd:… no.  
  
Rio: Aw, damn! ::folds his arms:: Well, here goes nothing…  
  
Aracd: O…K… Anyway. Candidate #2!  
  
Yamagi: ::whispers:: How much money am I getting paid for this again?  
  
Aracd: We'll discuss that later.  
  
Yamagi: Right. ::clears his throat:: Ahem. Yamagi Kushida desu.  
  
Aracd: And Candidate #3!  
  
Wrecka: ::giggles:: Hi-mi-tsu!  
  
Aracd: Just introduce yourself.  
  
Wrecka: ::sighs:: Watashi no name wa Wrecka Toesing.  
  
Aracd: Now that we know who our Candidates are, let's bring out our contestant! Everyone, meet Roose Sawamura!  
  
[Roose steps out on stage as the audience cheers. Of course, now the candidates know whom they're battling for.]  
  
Yamagi: ::spits out his tea:: Roose? ::blushing furiously now:: I thought it would be like… Tune or something.  
  
Rio: Aw, T.T He's too young for me!  
  
[Wrecka doesn't say anything and Roose gets comfortable in the giant heart chair.]  
  
Aracd: Konbanwa Roose, Yoroshiku.  
  
Roose: Ne, yoroshiku, Aracd-san!  
  
Aracd: I guess I shall have to explain the rules. All right. Roose, you will ask the three candidates a couple of questions, and at the end of our time limit, choose your date!  
  
Roose: That sounds simple… um, when can I start?  
  
Aracd: Now, if you want.  
  
Roose: OK. ::blushing like a maniac now, he picks up a few note cards:: Umm… I recently lost a lot of… of weight. I-I'm looking for… for someone who shares m-my thoughts on eating right and… and health. What are your v- views?  
  
Aracd: OK! Candidate #1!  
  
Rio: ::stomach growls:: I'm so hungryyyyyyyyyyy! I need a giant greasy hamburger smothered in gravy!  
  
Aracd: Ummm… OK… Candidate #2!  
  
Yamagi: What was the question?  
  
Roose: What are your views on eating right and health?  
  
Yamagi: Oh. :;pause:: I can't be a pilot unless I eat right. And I have to beat Zero!  
  
Zero: ::in the audience:: Shut up!  
  
Aracd: And Candidate #3!  
  
Wrecka: ::giggles:: I'm an expert when it comes to dieting. I believe that eating right is the way everyone should be.  
  
Aracd: Wow. She seems to really share your views. How are you feeling, Roose?  
  
Roose: ::shaking like a frightened puppy:: F-fine…  
  
Aracd: Alright, Roose! Next question!  
  
Roose: Um… um, right. ::fumbles through his cards::  
  
Rio: Aw, man! I gotta pee!  
  
Wrecka: Ew, that's disgusting!  
  
Rio: Hey, it's not my fault! I just had one too many glasses of tea!  
  
Yamagi: Dude, you're a yag.  
  
Rio: Shut up!  
  
Aracd: Back to the game!  
  
Roose: Right, um… If you had a million dollars what would you do?  
  
Aracd: Candidate #1?  
  
Rio: Buy a bunch of food.  
  
Aracd: Yes, we all saw that one coming. Candidate #2?  
  
Yamagi: I would… buy me… a car?  
  
Rio: What's a car?  
  
Yamagi: Shut up, yag! I'd buy me a… aw hell, I'd squander it.  
  
Aracd: Right. Candidate #3!  
  
Wrecka: I'd give a bunch to charities and weight loss programs. Then I'd spend the rest on our adorable Roose.  
  
[Audience 'aws']  
  
Aracd: Wow, Roose. You'd really have a great time with Candidate #3!  
  
Roose: H…hai.  
  
Aracd: Roose, are you ready for your next question?  
  
Rio: Can I go pee now?  
  
Yamagi: No, shut up.  
  
Rio: Aww…  
  
Roose: A…all right. ::looks at his cards:: What was the worst thing you've ever done?  
  
Aracd: Oo… time to bring out the ugliness. Candidate #1!  
  
Rio: I ate a salad once.  
  
Aracd: That's the worst thing you've ever done?  
  
Rio: Umm… yeah.  
  
Yamagi: Baka.  
  
Aracd: Moving on! I swear this is my worst episode yet, I'm going to talk to the editor about this Anyway! Candidate #2!  
  
Yamagi: I had sex with Hiido once.  
  
Wrecka: Oh, that's so disgusting! Y-  
  
Aracd: Ah-ah-ah-… no saying the name of another candidate. It gives away the surprise.  
  
Wrecka: G-gomen ne…  
  
Aracd: Yes, Candidate #2, I can see why that would be the worst thing you've ever done.  
  
Hiido: ::calls out from studio audience.:: I resent that! He knows he liked it!  
  
Yamagi: Up yours, Hiido!  
  
Hiido: Gladly!  
  
Aracd: Don't make me get out the bodyguards!  
  
[Force and Sure crack their knuckles.]  
  
Wrecka: Is it my turn yet?  
  
Aracd: Yes, I was getting to that… Candidate #3!  
  
Wrecka: One time, I stayed up 15 minutes past my bedtime… to read a book!  
  
[Audience gasps.]  
  
Aracd: Well, we're not all perfect, are we? Roose, one more question before a commercial break! How are you feeling?  
  
Roose: ::wipes his forehead:: I'm not so nervous anymore.  
  
Aracd: That's good. Can you give the candidates their next question?  
  
Roose: Hai. Hypothetically speaking, if we were going out and got caught in the rain, what would you do?  
  
Aracd: Ah, the possibilities for this question! All right, Candidate #1!  
  
Rio: Why would we be going out?  
  
Roose: It's hypothetical! ::blush blush::  
  
Rio: And… the rain?  
  
Roose: Artificial of course.  
  
Rio: Hm… I'd ask you if you had any food. Man, all this talk of rain is making me have to pee even more!  
  
Aracd: You can during the commercial break. Candidate #2!  
  
Yamagi: XD Eh..heh..heh..  
  
Roose: O.O! That doesn't sound good…  
  
Aracd: Yes, yes, to keep this PG-13, let's move on to Candidate #3!  
  
Yamagi: How is this PG-13? This should be PG!  
  
Aracd: You had sex with Hiido.  
  
Yamagi: Yu did? I never knew…  
  
Aracd: Not Yu, you!  
  
Yamagi: Oh. ::rolls his eyes:: Right.  
  
Aracd: Can we please move on to Candidate #3?  
  
Yamagi: Yeah, sure.  
  
Aracd: Yoshi! Candidate #3!… again.  
  
Wrecka: ::giggle:: I would try my best to find shelter so we could stay dry Then cuddle for warmth.  
  
Roose: ::blushing even more furiously:: I shouldn't have asked that question.  
  
Aracd: That's alright. That's what makes this game so entertaining! But enough small talk. We're halfway through! That means, it's time for a commercial break!  
  
Rio: Yay! Can I pee now?  
  
Aracd: Yes, and with all this talk of pee, I think I need to relieve myself. It will be a wonder if half our viewing population goes off to dispose of their waste during the commercials. Don't touch that dial!  
  
[Fly to the Star of your Dreams comes on again briefly as the scene fades.]  
  
--  
  
XD There! Part 1. If you have any commercial ideas or questions, please include them in your review! Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeese! It makes it more fun to be interactive. Arigatou!


	2. Commercials with shameless plugs!

Disclaimer: I do not own Megami Kouhosei or any of the characters mentioned here. But perhaps... PERHAPS GIScrub. I own a few of the things mentioned, and others belong to other people.  
  
Rates: PG  
  
Notes: Eh, this is just a commercial and uh, some more commercials. I didn't think I should continue this but after reading what little reviews I got, I decided 'Eh, why not?' After all, this is my first MK/CFG fic and the regulars probably assume me to be a newbie since I'm writing a gameshow fic as my first instead of my... fifth. O.o;; Ah, I'll just postie my other MK./CFG fics then. I shouldn't care what others think much... right? Ah, gomen ne. I'm not in a good mood. XD  
  
1 Mystery Date Commercial Break  
  
~*~  
  
Kitzaku: Tired of seeing nothing but Gareas and Ernest shrines? Going to the same Megami Kouhosei sites for information on your TRUE favorite characters? Then look no further! Come on down to Violet Candidate the biggest Roose/Yamagi shrine on the web!  
  
Yamagi: Shrine for us?  
  
Roose: Ne, Yamagi-kun! We're a couple!  
  
Yamagi: This doesn't give the ending to the story does it?  
  
Kitzaku: .... Ianyway!/I Come on down today! See pictures, read fanfiction, profiles and a special on the Chronicles of Sir Gareas! Just head on down to http://yamagi_kun.tripod.com today!  
  
Roose: And don't forget to sign the Guestbook!  
  
Yamagi: ::grumbles::  
  
~*~  
  
[Loud screeching noise]  
  
Zero: Am... am I on? Oh, good. ::clears throat:: Alright. This is not a test. That really is ringing in your ears. Now you know where it's coming from.  
  
Clay: I hacked into your central nervous system! ^.~  
  
Zero: That's right! We're here to tell you that you're all being USED. That's right. Used for some diabolical plan to take over the world! You are all mindless drones. Sent to watch TV and get hooked like mindless zombies watching others' lives flash before you in a never ending void.  
  
Clay: Very interesting....  
  
-Loud crash and screen blacks out then screaming heard in the back.]  
  
Kizna: ZERO! What have I told you about messing with the TV station? Put it back to the commercials!  
  
~*~  
  
[A smiling Azuma appears on the screen and it appears he is holding something in his hand. Bright lights are flashing all about him.]  
  
Azuma: ::in a high, dramatic voice:: Is your kitchen or bathroom a filthy dump with mold, mildew, stains and who knows what growing all over the place? Are you sick and tired of commercials telling you that their soap product works? Are you talking to your screen? Then never fear! We're yet another infomercial trying to corrupt your mind into buying our crap! With this new GIScrub from GOAgent.  
  
[Azuma holds up a bottle most likely the one in his hand. It's white and looks like a classic 409 bottle, only with a piece of printer paper taped to the front and GIScrub written on it in pencil and a horrible drawing of a happy soap bubble.]  
  
Azuma: This amazing formula was made from Rio and Gareas' combined spit! It's deep penetrating action removes all types of fungus and stains for tile or even ceramic counter tops! Just squirt a little on, rub it in and watch the magic almost happen!  
  
Ernest: I was doubtful at first, but then I tried it for myself. I could almost feel my bathroom getting cleaned!  
  
Azuma: Yes, buy GIScrub today. Everyone is in on the new rage!  
  
Yu: ....It works...  
  
Azuma: See? You can love it too! No pun intended there, folks. ::now in an even more dramatic voice:: This is not sold in stores. But for just $19.95 you can get GIScrub in a convenient 12oz bottle. BUT WAIT! Call within the next four minutes and get another bottle... for the same price! Call, toll- free! 1-800-GISCRUB and get your GIScrub today!  
  
-MayWorkForTwoDaysThenMoldGrowsBackTwiceAsBad-  
  
[End Commercial Break]  
  
~*~  
  
End Notes:  
  
There. I'm a deranged seahorse now. XD You know how hard it was to come up with a decent name for GIScrub? Eep! Azuma reminds me of the Orange Agent/Oxy Clean guy. Creepifying... o.O;;  
  
R&R kudosai! 


	3. Conclusion

Disclaimer: Same as previous stories.  
Rates: PG-13, Roose/Just about everyone. o.O;;  
Author's Note: I've got to finish this story, because well, once I start it, I've got to finish it right? Makes me feel better. All right. Here we go!  
-----  
[Once more the opening theme music is heard with the sound of a toilet flushing in the background.]  
Aracd: Arigatou! I hope you releived yourselves! I know I did. Now, on with the show. Roose, how are ya feeling?  
Roose: Refreshed, Aracd-san.  
Aracd: That's good to hear. Now are you ready for the next question?  
Roose: Hai. ::pulls out a card:: What do you do in your free time?  
Aracd: Well, there's a general question if I've ever heard one. Ah, anyway Candidate #1!  
Rio: I.. eat.  
Yamagi: Obviously.  
Rio: At least I didn't have sex with Hiead.  
Yamagi: Yeah? Well I could have sworn that I heard something going on in that cockpit with you and Gareas.  
Rio: Shut up!  
Aracd: Um.. Candidate #2!  
Yamagi: I train hard to become a pilot!  
Rio: And have s-  
Yamagi: Don't make me come over there!  
Rio: What are you going to do?  
Yamagi: Take those Oreo's from your mouth.  
Rio: How did you know I have Oreo's?  
Yamagi: u.u Psychic.  
[In the audience, Zero's holding up a sign saying 'Steal the Oreos!' And Hiead is right behind him with a sign saying 'Hit him with a chair!']  
Aracd: JUST GET TO CANDIDATE #3!  
Wrecka: I like to improve my self esteem and work hard on my repairing abilities.  
Yamagi: ::mutters:: And find devious ways to look innocent.  
Wrecka: Excuse me?  
Yamagi: ::whistles::  
Roose: Aracd-san, I seem to have lost my cards, and I only remember one question.  
Aracd: Good! that way we can finish this thing quicker! Out with the question!  
Roose: Have you seen wehre Yamagi-kun went off to?  
Aracd: That was one of your questions?  
Roose: Ne, is was! ^.^  
Aracd: Well, all right. Candidate #1!  
Rio: He's right over there.  
Roose: ::excited:: Where?  
Rio: There! ::points!::  
Roose: -.-;; I can't see where you're pointing!  
Aracd: Oh- this is just a disaster. Candidate #2 I hope you're smar enough to answer this correctly.  
Yamagi: ::red:: Roose, why do you want to know where I-I mean he is?  
Roose: I was gonna wave to him in the audience, but I don't see him.  
Yamagi: Oh, right. Well, maybe he's hiding.  
Roose: Oh! Hide and Seek! He's such a fun guy...  
Aracd: Erm... Candidate #3!  
Wrecka: Yamagi will be burning in hell once I'm through with him! ::fire in her voice::  
Aracd: Oh, do we see some hostile aggression in our top candidate? Roose, do you want to make up another question or end the game?  
Roose: Ne, I'm tired let's end.  
Aracd: Alright! Coffee break! Now Roose you will have to choose which candidate you would like best, and we wish you the best of luck! Now to summarize our contestants, here we go!  
[Camera to Candidate #1]  
Aracd: Candidate #1! Who loves to eat!  
[Camera to Candidate #2]  
Aracd: Candidate #2! Who had sex with Hiead!  
Yamagi: What?! That's my summary?  
Aracd: Yes.  
[Camera to Candidate #3]  
Aracd: Candidate #3! The innocent and most perfect match! Roose, who will it be?  
[Drum roll.]  
Roose: Ne, I thought this would be a really tough choice, but I've decided on my answer! It was REALLY easy!  
[Everyone leans in.]  
Roose: Candidate...  
Aracd: #3! I knew it! Congratulations!  
Roose: What? Nonononono. #2!  
Aracd: ::face fault:: But...but #3 is your perfect match.  
Roose: No, she's not. I don't like Wrecka like that.  
Wrecka: How did you know it was me?  
Yamagi: Turns out Roose aint so gullible, eh, Wrecka?  
Wrecka: :;drops the innocent act:: That's it Yamagi! You're going to hell!  
[Wrecka launched at Yamagi, causing him to fall. Yamagi is now busy warding off Wrecka while Rio is stuffing his face.]  
Roose: Yamagi-kun! There you are! I've found you!  
Yamagi: Nani? Oh! ::snaps: You picked me!   
[At the moment Wrecka slaps him and she's dragged off by Force and Sure.]  
Roose: So you were playing hide and seek! ::hugs him tight:: I've found you at last!  
[Cue audience 'aw'.]  
Aracd: Roose, would you mind telling us the reason of your choice?  
Roose: ::freezes up suddenly:; Uh... um...  
Hiead: We all know already! Just spit it out!  
Roose: Because the authoress loves the YR,RY couple.  
Yamagi: In that case...::wraps his arms around Roose in a tentative hug and give him the kawaii-est of all kisses on the lips, standing on his tippy-toes, of course.::  
[Cue audience 'aw'.]  
Rio: ::belches:: Ah... gotta love to eat.  
Gareas: RIO! Darling! You thought you could get away from me?  
Rio: Gareas? ::gulps and runs offstage::  
Aracd: Thank you so much for tuning in to watch this episode of Mystery Date! Even though it was a major pain for me, but fun to write for the authoress!  
[Hasshin Zenya~Get a Dream! comes on and scene fades. Then Rio pokes his head in through a hole in the blackness.]  
Rio: Help me!  
Gareas: Rioroute!  
-----  
::Owari!::  
  
There! Done! Finished! Yipee! And my Yugi Muse was born just before I wrote this third part!  
  
Yugi Muse: And I helped with the erm... slight humor in here!  
  
Yes, yes he did. ::nodnod:: 


End file.
